To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity


1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars.
See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice!

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Marijuana'

6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

9. Sing Along At The Opera.

10. ive Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'


And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity

14. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.

Originally Posted by Doug

12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

HAHA I've actually done this. the zoo wasn't too busy but there was a woman who started running, took about 3 steps dropped her keys and then saw me laughing when she went to pick them up

Originally Posted by Doug

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

I've done this one when I've been really tired...but not on purpose

But I dont use Drive Thru!

.....I needed a good laugh

I'm gonna try the condom one.

LOL! I do all of those things, except one: Who writes checks anymore???

Similar to the ATM one: sometimes when I go to Five Guys Burgers & Fries for take-out, and they call my number for me to pick up my order, I react like I just won the lottery.

I like #13 the most. Sounds like something my parents will say to my brothers.

I've done #11 with the self-checkout registers. Whenever it gives me cash or change I like to yell out jackpot! Two other things that I've done with friends in cars are: 1. When you have several people in your car, pass someone, honk the horn at them and wave in the opposite direction. 2. In a car with no tint or very light tint so people can see into the car, pull up beside them on the highway but have everyone pretend to be slumped over asleep, including the driver who is watching the road with his or her eyes barely open. We've had people honk and yell at us to wake up. Good times!

HAHAHAHA! That's awesome! I'm totally ordering a diet water and a order to go at the drive thru! lol

Asking for a medium large fry or drink works too.

"What sizes do you have?"
We have small, medium, and large.
"Medium large it is then."
So you want two, a medium and a large?
"No thanks, just one. Medium large size please."
Huh?

Originally Posted by alliekat

Asking for a medium large fry or drink works too.

"What sizes do you have?"
We have small, medium, and large.
"Medium large it is then."
So you want two, a medium and a large?
"No thanks, just one. Medium large size please."
Huh?

sometimes when I get on an elevator i wait for the doors to close then I ask the person next to me why they are following me

Originally Posted by alliekat

Asking for a medium large fry or drink works too.

"What sizes do you have?"
We have small, medium, and large.
"Medium large it is then."
So you want two, a medium and a large?
"No thanks, just one. Medium large size please."
Huh?

Farva: "Gimme a liter of cola."
Thorny: "Just order a large, Farva!"
Farva: "I don't want a 'large, Farva', I want a goddamn liter of cola!"

Originally Posted by ProTender

sometimes when I get on an elevator i wait for the doors to close then I ask the person next to me why they are following me

"At last, we're alone."

Originally Posted by ProTender

sometimes when I get on an elevator i wait for the doors to close then I ask the person next to me why they are following me

Another similar situation is this.


when a man and his girl come into an elevator and it's almost your stop (& you know they aren't getting off at your floor and the dude can't kick your ass easily)
turn to the guy and go hey man weren't you at "Insert Well Known Local Strip Club's Name Here" a week or so ago? WOW small world."
then quickly exit